Home Sugar Support™ Forum Advice When to mention availability?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  SFwinefan 9 months, 1 week ago.

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    Chocolate Chanel

    When do you mention how much and when you are available? On your profile, in the first messages, on the M&G?



    I always ask before setting up a M&G. No point if our expectations are too far apart. I would put my availability into my profile if it was something non-standard. 2 times per week/month in the evening being about average. So if you’re only available during lunchtime then that should be on your profile.



    Somewhat new to the bowl but … I’d always thought your profile should illustrate the “why you” aspect moreso than the schematics of individual arrangements. A few factors go into things… is he attached? In the city? Discreet? Wanting you to travel? I’m learning quickly that different POT have different wants & levels of interaction.

    It’s my preference to talk about some of that before setting up the M&G and maybe a bit during to see if your lifestyles mesh. No need in posting a schedule of availability up on your profile, you’ll get to the bottom of that quick enough.

    I’d rather rule a POT out than have a POT w a workable but less than ideal schedule never even reach out to me…But that’s just me.


    If a SB has a flexible schedule, she can mention it. If she is only open during the days or weekends or whatever, it’s okay to mention that. This is a “why”. The best ability any SB has is availability. So if a SB has a restricted time frame to be a SB, be open and honest with it. Not much makes a SD more frustrated than spending time talking to a SB and then finding out at the last min that she is not going to be able to meet his needs. Example she is only open during the evenings, and he is only open during the day.



    Ambrose, not surprisingly, has it right. As a SB, you need to be available on your SD’s schedule. Unless he is retired, he will have more demands on his time than he has time – so his schedule for availability will be essential for his SB to be able to meet.

    That also means canceling, especially close to a date will also carry risks. He will have made time (likely his most precious resource), plans, and even arrangements (dinner, an activity, hotel). That sunk cost (as well as talking with an SB who cannot connect on his schedule) is something he can never get back.

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