I’ve done a handful of interviews for both print and television. Often times the hosts or reporters, upon hearing my story and learning that Sugar is much more than the cookie-cutter stereotype, turned to me “off the record” and said they were all about it. They were supportive of the lifestyle and thought it made a lot of sense, but couldn’t openly support it to the public. There needs to be more standing up for Sugar if we ever expect it to become accepted.
This was usually followed the slack-jaw, shocked expressions I received when it came to my “eloquence” or the fact that I actually was ambitious. Duh! You think the world’s most successful men are stimulated by someone who can’t fill in the awkward silences with witty banter just as well as she fills her eyebrows? I can say truthfully, the most lucrative Sugar Babies are the full package, wrapped nicely in ribbon.
While I completely understand the objective approach media often must take in their exploration of and reporting on certain lifestyles, I think it is important for us who actually engage Sugaring to stand up for it. When you live your life in a way that it is unapologetic and empowered, others cannot take anything from you.
How do we stand up for Sugar?
Well first of all, we defend our cause by using SeekingArrangement as intended. Although there are endless types of relationships, friendships and connections to be made on the site, it is important to never blur the lines when it comes to what a Sugar relationship is truly based on: mutual benefits to be experienced by both parties AFTER a positive association has been sparked between the two.
You may feel desperate when you don’t hear back from suitors right away, or become discouraged when you are not matching up to the social media success of other Sugar Babies in the bowl. This is no excuse to settle, ever. I say this not only to help you preserve your self worth, but also as a plea for you to do your part and uphold the standard for your Sugar Sisters.
When I get that offer for a night of (insert objectifying sexual request here), I know it is because at one time, someone probably swallowed their pride and said yes to this user for that. When we ourselves are making the site a safe place for Salt to stick, we lose our right to complain about having to sift through it for Sugar. Report, delete, and block those men.
I also encourage any and all women who feel strong, supported, and able enough to embrace their dating preference and lifestyle to stop feeling like you need to stay anonymous all the time. While I’m not saying you should call someone up and confess right now, I am challenging you to really question why it is you feel you should have to keep your dating in the dark, if you feel that way at all. You give people a right to think Sugar is something to be ashamed of when you act ashamed yourself. Tell the world it’s acceptable, and one day it will be.
For years I did not tell the people closest to me what I was up to. If you asked me three years ago if my mom would ever know about this, I’d laugh in your face. Forget telling me I’d air repeatedly on national television telling my story, and then appear for the repeated viewing pleasure of anyone Netflix. Luckily, being a boss little Sugar Baby, I can turn down a Netflix & Chill request like it’s my job.
This is Life
I participated in an episode of CNN’s This Is Life with Lisa Ling all about Sugar. What most of you don’t know? After the episode aired, I lost the job I’d had for years. I had been passionately committed to building that business and I always showed up on time and went above and beyond the job I was paid for.
At the time, I momentarily regretted the publicity, and even Sugaring. I felt shunned and ashamed, and suddenly took a Miss America approach to any publications I participated in and pretended I didn’t even know what my own naked body looked like. I thought if I could just detach myself from the sexual element of this that had people in an uproar, I could still be seen as good and worthy and wholesome.
The support I received from those who understood the lifestyle made me realize that I hadn’t done anything wrong at all. I became conscious of the fact that constantly trying to prove my innocence wasn’t doing me any justice, and it wasn’t doing the women I hope I am standing up for any consideration either. I learned that for true progress to be made, I must loudly embrace my right to exist as a sexual and complex human being. That is quite the dare for a woman these days, and I am truthfully up for it.
None of us deserve discrimination or judgement for our personal lives. Just like someone should never have the power to terminate my employment for coming out about my sexual orientation, they should have no grounds to judge my work based upon who I date when I’m not there. While my closet is a pretty glamorous place these days, I absolutely refuse to live in it.
So hello, my name is Allison.
I’m 23 years old and I have dreams that I really believe in.
I like animals, shopping and dark chocolate.
And yes, I am a Sugar Baby.