5 Tips to Restore the Romance

By Contessa

Jan 12, 2018

Have you just become so comfortable doing life together that you’ve forgotten how to laugh together and really enjoy each other’s company? Here are my 5 top tips to re-spark the romance and re-set the balance.

Remember Why You Both Fell in Love

If your relationship is beginning to feel flat and you are trapped in a vicious cycle of dullness, before anything else, establish whether you still love this person and whether you actually want to be with them. If the answer to these internal questions is a ‘yes’, then you absolutely have hope.

In the stress and routine of everyday life, we often forget to properly notice and appreciate our significant other. Remember when you first got together and you were in awe of the way he could make even the most downbeat person laugh hysterically. Or maybe you thought it was incredibly sweet the way he knew exactly which type of coffee to order you from your favourite local place? He may well still do all these things plus a whole lot more, but because they have become so routine, we may not be as impressed as we once were.

Break the Norm

Sometimes it’s healthy for both of you to get out of your comfort zone. We decide we know our partners inside out pretty quickly, but changing the scenario, whether it’s traveling abroad or introducing them to new friends can help you to see each other in a different light. Even if you’ve watched your significant other do everything from scramble eggs to run a marathon, there is always something new to learn.

If you’re feeling adventurous, extend this free-spirited approach to the bedroom. Step out of your comfort zone and initiate a wild scenario such as role-playing, for an extra spicy break from the norm.

Recognize Each Other’s Love Languages

Love languages let you in on what makes your partner tick. The idea is that we all express and feel love differently and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationship.

The five languages are pretty straightforward, but here is a brief description of what each of them mean:

 Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation.
 Acts of Service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
 Receiving Gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
 Quality Time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
 Physical Touch: It can be sex or holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection      through physical touch.

Chances are, you can relate to a few of these. Maybe you relate to all of them. But most of us have one or two that are much more important to us than the others and it’s different for everyone. If you know that his main love language is quality time for example, then planning a whole day with him will mean so much more than buying him the latest gadget.

Embrace Spontaneity

You may both be so engrained in the daily routine of going to work, attending your evening exercise class, cooking dinner and then heading to bed, but remember to indulge in a bit of occasional spontaneity. If he messages you to say he has booked a surprise and wants you to be ready for 7pm, the food you prepped the night before for dinner and the chores you planned to do can absolutely wait.

Equally, surprise him every so often. Whether it’s writing little love notes you hide around the house, whipping up his favourite dessert or even bringing out some sexy lingerie when he least expects it, these small gestures can leave a big impact, especially when you’re way past the infatuation stage.

Don’t Stop Dating

Remember your first date? How about your 73rd? Between the initial infatuation and the long-term commitment, there’s often a dating drought. Think about things you did during courtship and continue that.

To some, allocating one date night a week seems a bit formal. Then cook something you never have before. Light the candles at home. Dress up as if you were going to go out to the new restaurant in town. Dating doesn’t have to be formal or expensive so ditch the excuses and bring on the excitement!

It is perfectly normal to have phases of lust, passion, and frustration. Romance can easily become lost in amongst everything else. However, it is important to remember that it can be reignited; a little bit of effort can go a long way.

Writer’s Tip: As women, we sometimes expect the man to make the first move. We live in the 21st century! Instead of waiting for him to be romantic, take charge. Run him a bath when he gets in. Book a show you know he’s always wanted to see. These acts of love will go a long way. They will restore romance and will encourage him to think in the same way.