Hey, ladies! I don’t know about you, but personally, I cannot stand Valentine’s Day. Not because I hate what it stands for- no way! I love to love! But really shouldn’t any day be the perfect day to show your significant other some love? Like some good, sweet, I-want-a-little-sugar-in-my-bowl kinda love? I simply believe V-Day is a manufactured holiday created to put devotion to a romantic litmus test displaying (the more public, the better) how special your partner makes you feel, often times with more emphasis put on cost than creativity and sincerity. As a Baby, I always dreaded celebrating the 14th with an SD because I didn’t want him to have to stress about gifts, jewelry, flowers, and all the other stuff that though I appreciated, I didn’t need to feel validated. This year remove some of the pressure of your hard-working SD, grab the reigns, and take it upon yourself to plan a low-key date night that features no Cupid, no chocolate, and no caviar.
Keep It Light (Figuratively)
Insist on no gifts unless they are gag gifts. If he’s feeling more generous and comes bearing trinkets, demur, and then gracefully accept them. Pick a silly gift for him that is unexpected, sexy (something you can use on/with each other), or cheeky. No need to spend hours researching artisan shaving kits, it’s really not that serious. Exchanging inexpensive gifts can also be a nice ice-breaker for newish SDs and present an opportunity to highlight your sense of humor and irreverence. Note: If he buys you lingerie and you like it, excuse yourself to the other room and discreetly slip it on under your clothes- it’ll be a nice surprise for later if you get intimate. If it’s not your style, smile, thank him, and tell him you’re looking forward to trying it on later.
Keep It Light (Literally)
Even the shabbiest candle-lit space can be transformative and seductive. Spend the evening at yours for a change. Go out and grab a few unscented votives, place them in fire-safe areas, and light those suckers up! It adds to the romantic mood and helps to hide areas you may have forgotten to tidy up while you were rushing to get ready.
Just say no (to go to a restaurant)!
I have had the misfortune of being both a server and a guest at a fancy restaurant at the peak of Valentine’s night rush. Neither one of those experiences were the least bit pleasurable. Avoid the hiked up prices, long waits, and pushy crowds by ordering in and grabbing a few bottles of wine on your way home. Not only will he secretly exult you for eliminating yet another potential stressor of V-day, but he’ll appreciate that you are footing the bill for the meal. This just in: SDs LOVE it when you spontaneously fork out a little cash for a meal every once in a while, ladies. Try it!
Anti-love story, anyone?
Add to the low-key evening by suggesting some of these anti-romance cinematic gems. Here are my suggestions: Othello, American Beauty, Blue Valentine, Kill Bill (any volume), Fatal Attraction, Ex Machina, Last Tango In Paris, The Piano, Bonnie and Clyde (1967).
Shall We Dance?
Create a playlist for the evening. Here are some of my picks for the occasion:
I Want A Little Sugar In My Bowl, Nina Simone
A Fool In Love, Ike and Tina Turner
I Am The Sun and Air, The Smiths
The Man Who Sold The World, David Bowie
Miss Misery, Elliott Smith
Lady Your Roof Brings Me Down, Scott Weiland
I Don’t Want You On My Mind, Bill Withers