I have gone on dates with many different kinds of POTs, but it quickly became apparent to me even just during my initial screening, that I would definitely have a preference. Married men. Okay, before you cringe too much, let me explain myself.
From Monogamist to Sugar Dater
In my past, I have been a serial monogamist. I rarely stayed single for more than a few months. In my life I’ve always moved extremely fast in relationships. I married my now-ex-husband who cheated on me all the time. He even got someone pregnant. I was heartbroken and angry beyond words. At some point I finally got tired of forgiving him and divorced him. So I have found it interesting that my preference in the Sugar Bowl would be with men who are married. It is not just the married guy who just wants to cheat on his wife because he’s sleazy. It is rather the married man who actually loves his spouse and doesn’t have any intention of leaving his marriage.
I don’t enjoy it because I want to be the “other woman.” I have absolutely no intention of being a homewrecker either. In my personal life, I have no qualms about informing a woman if her partner is trying to get in my pants. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of a woman’s heart break in the same way mine was shattered. Even though that’s what I prefer, I also only date men who I actually have a genuine connection with and attraction to. I am not going to be with someone who is just looking for a glorified prostitute. I could receive a lot more in gifts and allowance if I didn’t have such particular requirements. I’m sure you can imagine that wealthy men in mostly-happy relationships who aren’t only looking for sex, it’s slim pickings.
The Trade Off
I’m still open to having arrangements with single Sugar Daddies. Married men provide me with something else. I don’t want a relationship. Period. There is nothing about a normal relationship that appeals to me. From seeing the same person all the time to discussions about where the relationship is going. Let’s not forget, worrying about who cares more about the other. Eew, no thank you! Even though generally Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy relationships aren’t regular relationships, many times when I’ve been out with or even just been messaging with a POT, they become too clingy for me. I really enjoy the sense of having a partner, but don’t want someone who I feel like I need to check in with. I want to still be able to have my own life, on my own terms. I’d like to just enjoy a person when we have both made time for each other. It makes for a perfect trade off for me- have a partner while living life my way. I don’t have to worry about ending up with a “Stage Five Clingon.”
The Real Benefit for My Sugar Daddy
I believe that it is possible for a person to very much love their spouse. They want to grow old with them, and all that jazz, but still have a void that they need to fill. I have met several mostly-happily married Sugar Daddies who have that void for many different reasons. One is an illness of their spouse, and by illness, I’m talking about more than just a cold or the weekend flu. I mean they have something that disables them long term. Even if they’re still able to be sexually active with each other, serious illness causes a lot of stress for everyone, especially the care giver. Being an SB for someone who is in a situation like this, often times this is a real therapeutic arrangement for them. Other men are in a happy marriage, but for whatever personal reason, they just don’t feel fulfilled without the initial spark that comes during the courting phase of a relationship. When you crave to know about a person and when you get butterflies and wait anxiously for a call or text.
Finding that Spark!
When I do find these rare men, it’s a jackpot for us both. Being with me gives them an escape from their situation or the fire that they’re missing in their day-to-day. They are still able to be with the woman they really love. For me, aside from the monetary benefits, it provides me with the exact relationship that works best for me. It’s a relationship that exists, I have someone I communicate regularly. This person doesn’t try to wield any kind of real power over me. There are no unspoken expectations between either of us. We both know that our arrangement will have an expiration date at some point, and we’re both completely okay with that.