Dealing with a breakup is never easy, especially if it’s a nasty one. I’ve experienced my fair share of bad breakups (think WWIII) and unfortunately allowed them to affect my work life, my health and my friendships. While we can’t control how we feel, we can control how we react. Whether it be the fallout of a Sugar Baby relationship or a traditional one, I’ve stuck by five divine rules when it comes to dealing with a bad breakup and how to come out on top.
Remember: “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” You’re allowed a full 48 hours to feel sorry for yourself, eat your weight in carbs and cry watching a Nicholas Sparks movie. After that, you need to pull yourself together. Downtime leads to over thinking, over analyzing, sulking or stewing. To stay positive and begin the healing process, keep your body and your mind regularly active – join a gym, learn how to cook an exotic dish, volunteer, go to happy hour, deep clean your house, pick up a Sudoku book, develop a business plan for your dream job, begin reading a trilogy series, meal prep for the week. Do literally anything that requires you to be mentally engaged. The mind is a powerful thing and our thoughts become actions.
You know what’s going to drive him crazy? Seeing his old flame looking hotter than ever. If you actively workout, push yourself harder. Attend two pilates classes a day instead of one. Add an extra mile to your nightly run, or extra reps to your lifting routine. Clean up your eating habits; no soda, no junk food, watch the sugars and eat at the proper times throughout the day. Even if you’re a relatively healthy eater, there’s always ways to improve. During a sensitive time when you may be feeling self-conscious or questioning your self worth, focusing on your health will play a crucial factor in getting over a bad breakup. You are going to bounce back stronger than ever, and you’re going to look damn good doing it.
Unfollow, Unfriend, Block
Remove your ex from all social media platforms (much easier if he’s a SD since he probably won’t have any social media accounts). This isn’t harsh or immature, but a way to keep your sanity and move on. Staying up-to-date on the intricacies of their life will only wear you down mentally. Especially if they start dating someone new. Cut the cord. You’ve got bigger things to worry about than what your ex is doing. It might be a good idea to delete your text threads, too. I am guilty of re-reading conversations from time to time just to remind myself that things weren’t always bad. This, however, can lead to a dangerous fixation on the past. Delete it and move on. You’re not erasing memories or all traces of their existence, you’re just wiping the slate clean.
Nothing says “I won” like being successful. Take the negative energy and channel it into your work; ask for additional projects, see if you can take on more of a leadership role or new tasks in the office, become an expert at what you do. Read, ask questions, make connections and actively look for opportunities to grow your career. You’ll be so immersed (maybe even overwhelmed) in your job that you won’t have the time or energy to dwell on the past. Plus, the overtime and hard work will not go unnoticed. ‘Raise’, ‘bonus’ and ‘promotion’ all sound like victories to me.
Accept The Apology You Never Received
This rule reigns supreme in all aspects of life. While it will be the toughest practice once you’re able to forgive someone who didn’t ask for forgiveness, life is so much easier. People are stubborn, flawed, proud and full of emotions – closure and calm, adult discussions aren’t alway in the cards for some couples.
We all cope and handle situations differently – some people are able to internalize and don’t require any downtime, while others take longer to work through their emotions and sort out feelings (which is totally acceptable, too). If you’re like me and don’t deal with heartbreak very easily, try the aforementioned tips in the event of a bad breakup. I’m always looking for new methods, so please share your thoughts below.