How to Be Loving in the Absence of Love

By RowanAsh

Apr 04, 2019

When you hear the term ‘arrangement’, it can at times inspire thoughts of a formal nature. An unwritten contract between two (at times, three) people, whereby predetermined behaviors and expectations are mutually agreed. Now, of course, this is part of the initial conversation, but once an arrangement has been decided, you are mostly in a relationship going forward.

This relationship can be short or long term. It could be for an evening or a week’s long vacation on a romantic beach. Either way, the atmosphere can quickly become awkward if you treat this as anything other than a regular date. Just because you know the ending, shouldn’t mean you stamp out the butterflies.

How to Show Affection on the First Meet

Whether your first meeting is over coffee or dinner, here are a few things you can do to start creating the perfect environment and foundation for your arrangement:

  • First impressions count. Make an effort to put forward your best personal style appropriate for the occasion to ensure your POT knows that you made an effort for him and that he can be proud to have you by his side.
  • If you hate the idea of a formal interaction, don’t reach out a hand to be shaken. Instead, show your feminine nature and lean in for a hug and kiss on the cheek. It’s playful and intimate while still being appropriate.
  • When it comes to ordering the food, I generally comment on what I can’t eat and then ask my POT to recommend and order for me. This action sets the tone that I trust my POT to take care of my needs.
  • During that ‘get to know each other’ conversation, make eye contact, smile, and if the occasion presents itself, reach out to touch the arm of your POT softly. Physical contact like this is intimate, feminine, and not too forward for an initial meet.

I tend to ensure that throughout the dinner I check my POTs drink is full, and I always ask to share a dessert. Generally, this brings you into closer proximity to one another and is a perfect time to look into one another’s eyes and thank your POT for dinner. ALWAYS remember to thank your POT for taking the time to take you out whether it be for coffee or dinner.

Make Long Term Arrangements Loving

Excitement is present at the start of any suitable arrangement, but how do you maintain a mutually beneficial arrangement when love isn’t really on the table?

It’s not uncommon for arrangements to last a significant amount of time, but just because it is labeled an arrangement rather than a relationship, that shouldn’t suggest that it’s not going to take some work!

Long term arrangements have always been my preference. They offer stability and allow for a real connection to grow. The benefit of having a connection is you will have a daddy that will go to the ends of the earth to ensure you are happy and supported. That shouldn’t go unappreciated. So, here are some things to consider:

  • You don’t have to love a daddy to love what he does for you. Being supported in my goals and having my financial worries taken care of, along with gifts and vacations are no small things. Stopping to reflect and appreciate what my daddy does for me, allows me to show genuine affection and gratitude.
  • PDA. Now I’m not suggesting you should be all over each other when in public! But when I am out with my daddy, I am clearly with him. I tend to be an arm toucher rather and a hand holder. Either way, contact is maintained. A daddy wants to feel that you want to be WITH him, not just around for the benefits.
  • A long-term arrangement needs to have affection; one thing I love is kissing. I tend to save the passionate kissing for the bedroom, but at any point of the day I may be kissing my daddy’s shoulder, his neck, or sometimes I playfully pull up his hand to kiss the back of it then drop my head on to his shoulder as I bring his arm down. These are the things I like, and so I remember to enjoy the moments for myself.
  • Get to know his schedule. My daddy flies a lot for business, and so I keep his schedule in my calendar. This way I know when to wish him a safe flight, and I’m aware of when to message with him being in a new time zone.

One thing that needs to be understood and respected about long-term arrangements is you become more involved in each other’s lives. Share personal stories and open up to your daddy, this way you will connect and build a relationship that is loving even in the absence of love.