How to Let Him Down Easy

By Julia Jones

Jan 14, 2019

When it comes to meeting a new POT there is always the chance that things might not work out and you’re going to have to tell him that. Whether it’s after meeting in person or talking online and realizing that it’s not going to work it’s never a fun idea when you realize you’re going to have to do it- so, today let’s talk about that.

The facts are, it’s going to happen

Can we just go over this real quick? I know I shouldn’t have to say this but I want to cover it. You’re not going to be everyone’s type, and any POT you talk to isn’t going to be everyone’s type either. So if they’re not yours, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or them.

Don’t lead him on

Honestly, this isn’t even really about the POT. This is about you as well. Don’t waste your time leading someone on if you know it’s not going to work. I mean, you wouldn’t want someone to lead you on, right?

The thing about sugaring is, it’s really easy for both parties to feel used, and if your POT feels lead on, he’s going to feel used; just like you would.

Ghost, or don’t. It’s up to you

Let’s talk about ghosting. I know, you’re not supposed to do it, but there are times that it’s okay to ghost someone, especially if they aren’t taking a hint. There is a reason the block button was invented.

It’s okay to be vague

The truth is, your POT doesn’t need an essay on why you don’t want to see them again. You’re making a choice and someone should respect your choices and if they don’t; they just make the point that they aren’t worth having in your life- don’t they really?
And that’s the way you should look at things. If someone doesn’t respect your choice enough to accept three simple words (“I’m not interested”) then what else aren’t they going to respect and are they really the kind of person you want in your life?

Be honest

That being said, don’t lie when you’re cutting ties.

You’re allowed to feel however you want about the situation and you shouldn’t be scared of voicing it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there and I’ve been in situations where I didn’t feel like I could be honest so I get that there might be times where you feel like you have to lie to get away from you POT; but the fact is, those aren’t healthy people.

You should have enough respect given to you that you can be honest with someone; and if you can be, you should respect that person enough to be honest with them about why you aren’t feeling it. Maybe it’s the schedule, maybe it’s the kind of agreement—whatever it is,  just remember not everything is going to work for everyone.

Toss in a compliment (if it’s honest)

The idea of being able to end things on good terms is great, right? So, if it’s valid let your POT know something they did a good job or something that you really appreciated that they did. Maybe they were a really great person but you just couldn’t handle the schedule or maybe they needed discretion and you couldn’t offer that but they were awesome people; don’t feel like you can’t compliment a POT your shooting down.

It’s okay to use lines

Maybe it is a really bad time for you to be dating. Maybe something did just come up and you can’t do it anymore. Maybe it really is you, not them.

It’s okay to use lines like this if they are true, and if someone can’t accept them as true; that is their issue- not yours and not something you should feel guilty for.