Open Sugar Relationships

By Pollyanne Marie

Dec 06, 2017

When I began my journey into the Sugar Bowl as a polyamorous individual, I was concerned that every daddy I met would only be interested in a monogamous relationship. Even if he says he wants NSA, I couldn’t see how one Sugar Daddy was going to be happy about me openly having relationships with other Sugar Daddies. Still, I put my profile on SeekingArrangement as who I truly am, and I found myself pleasantly surprised in open Sugar relationships.

What Does an Open Relationship Look Like?

Being in a polyamorous or open relationship doesn’t mean I don’t have rules or that I am hiding anything from my partners. Being poly means that I am capable of having more than one romantic relationship at a time. This is with the knowledge of all partners involved.

Each relationship I enter into is different based on the needs of the individuals. Right now I have two main daddies. I am casually dating other people as well. One of my partners prefers for me to tell him if I have other sexual interactions with people and he is only dating me. My other daddy has a wife and child who I am also friends with. He doesn’t expect me to tell him if I am seeing other people.

There are a million different ways to have open/poly/monogamish relationships with your SD. The terms and conditions are up to the people involved, not what society says you are supposed to do. 

Honesty is the Best Policy

Most people who are in ethical non-monogamous relationships will expect honesty between partners. If you and your daddy have an agreement where you are able to kiss other people, but not have sex with them, then having sex with someone else is still cheating. You can basically think of cheating as “breaking the rules.” If you and your Sugar Daddy have a set of rules in place for your relationship, then going outside of that agreement could mean you lose out on a very sweet situation.

Some people prefer a “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) policy. This basically means that everyone involved is kept in the dark. These relationships are not for everyone and I personally do not suggest them. If you want to try opening your relationships but can’t bear the thought of knowing that your partner had sex with someone else, this might be your best option. I just know that what I could dream up would be much worse than what my partner would ever actually do.

The bottom line is that if you want these relationships to work it is best to be honest. This is especially so with yourself. You can’t be honest with your new Sugar Daddies if you don’t know what you want. Or you don’t know what your own boundaries are first. If you haven’t been in a relationship like this before it might take some practice. Try taking some baby steps and see how it feels . You may want an open relationship with very few details shared between partners. Or maybe you want to know everything! Just know that if anything you or your partners try makes you feel queasy and uncomfortable it is ok to opt out of an agreement. Remember communication is key. Sometimes all we need is to be able to talk about our feelings to find a compromise that works for everyone.

Jealousy Happens

Most people don’t want to try being in an open relationship because they are afraid that they might get jealous. They believe that being jealous means you are either weak or dramatic. Or that your partner is treating you poorly by making you feel this way.  The truth is that if you are non-monogamous, monogamous, even if you are single, jealousy still happens! It is something we deal with regularly. Though we might not realize it or label it as such. We feel jealous towards family members, co-workers, and celebrities, as well as in our romantic relationships.

Learning how to approach jealousy is a skill we can learn. Just like we learn how to deal with anger and disappointment. If we take the time and self-reflect we can manage our jealousy and sometimes even end up laughing about it. In some instances, people in open relationships can even feel happy for their partners being with others. One of my Daddies is quite expressive about how happy he is for me to have someone else I can share my love with. In poly communities we call this compersion. It is the joy you feel for someone else’s joy. 

How to Get Started

If you already have a closed relationship with your Sugar Daddy it can be scary to try to talk about opening it up. If you are interested in doing so it might be worth a shot. I believe it is always best to be honest about our desires. Remember that we can’t get what we want if no one knows we want it! Plus, who knows, maybe he was thinking the same thing but was too afraid to tell you!

My profile on SeekingArrangement currently says I am poly and that I am looking for like-minded individuals. I usually will make sure the person talking to me understands what I am looking for within the first couple of messages. There is no point in hiding who you are and stringing people along. It only wastes time for both of you. There are plenty of people who would be happy to get to know you for exactly who you are, even if that’s someone who is just starting to try things out.

So maybe try putting something new on your profile, even if it’s as simple as “I am interested in open relationships.”
Just remember to be honest and kind, to be patient and communicative. You’ll find the daddy, or daddies, who are right for you!

Have you had any experiences with open or poly sugar relationships? How have you dealt with jealousy in the past?
We would love to hear from you, please write to us with any of your comments or questions below!