It’s no secret by now that I have had a fair amount of experience in the Sugar Bowl. In my time as an SB, I’ve had a few arrangements with married SDs—in fact, they’ve been my longest-lasting arrangements by far. On the rare occasion that I share this experience with people, I get questions about what I like about them, whether the arrangement is messy, etc. Here are the Pros and Cons of married Sugar Daddies for those of you that are curious…
The biggest pro to me is that a married SD is (generally) looking for a deeper connection with an SB, because that’s most likely what’s lacking in his marriage. He misses the rush and excitement of a new relationship and craves the kind of arrangement where every date feels like a honeymoon. The hottest, steamiest arrangements I’ve had were all with married men who were basically looking for this exact experience.
Therefore, arrangements with married SDs—if both parties are careful—tend to last longer. I’ve heard the average arrangement lasts about 6 months; my longest arrangement lasted almost 3 years and it was with a married SD. I think another reason why these arrangements last longer is because a married SD has every incentive to couple up with someone – if he spends a lot of time fooling around with different women, he has a higher risk of getting caught.
Along those lines, especially regarding a deeper connection, the biggest, most obvious drawback is that a married SD is not yours to love. It’s best to avoid falling for an SD in general—and this is especially the case for a married SD. That’s not to say it doesn’t happen—I’ve been there, done that for sure—but if it does, that’s where things get messy.
And speaking of things getting messy, the whole process of avoiding getting caught (not to mention, God forbid, actually getting caught) can be another drawback to dating a married SD. Both parties need to be extremely careful. In practice, this includes anything from: only texting during business hours, going to restaurants that are under the radar, keeping my nails short/wearing minimal makeup and perfume so as to not leave a trace, minimal PDA, etc. It can also mean that the two of you need to get creative regarding your allowance. Cash is king here (per usual), but spontaneous gifts can be tricky, especially if his wife goes through his credit card statements.
One final thing to consider is the lasting impact it will have on your outlook. For me personally, I am much more slow to trust partners because I know how easy it is to cheat. Also, there’s still a ton of stigma and judgment surrounding affairs and being the other woman—remember all the heat Rachel Roy took for Lemonade, even though it was Jay Z who cheated? That’s why I rarely open up to people about my experiences with married SDs.
It really depends on what you’re looking for. I realize that to most, the drawbacks totally outweigh the benefits of a deep connection and everything else that comes with an arrangement. The highlights of my 3-year arrangement with a married SD were the literal definition of “peak SA”—and at the same time, the heartbreak in the end was painful.
My advice to you, if you’re considering seeing a married SD, is to do your very best to keep from falling for him. And the second, most important bit of advice is to find an understanding friend you can talk to as things get more involved—which I’d actually recommend anyway as you navigate the Sugar Bowl. Otherwise, enjoy and be safe!