I once found myself in a situation where I had a loving boyfriend and a wonderful Sugar Daddy. But they were two different people. It was a story of Sugar & honey: balancing a Sugar Daddy and a boyfriend.
I was lucky to have both, but it was a struggle balancing the separate parts of my life while making sure each person felt they were in a meaningful relationship with me. I imagine I’m not the first Sugar Baby who has experienced this, and I definitely will not be the last. Every relationship is different with an exponential amount of factors to consider, but if you ever find yourself in this situation, here are a few things that helped me manage both.
I was with my Sugar Daddy first, then the boyfriend came after. The thought had crossed my mind to keep them completely in the dark about each other or tell one and not the other. In the end I chose to be transparent since lying can take so much effort and hurt people.
When weighing the pros and cons, making everyone aware of the situation was not only the right thing to do, but also made having both easier. If I was going out to hang with my Sugar Daddy, I told my boyfriend. I wasn’t asking him for permission; I was just informing him of my activities. This helped to build security in our relationship. If I was on a date with my boyfriend and my Sugar Daddy called, I told him I was busy with my boyfriend and would get in touch with him later.
I discussed boundaries with both parties, and we found ones we could all agree on. When I started dating my boyfriend, I let my Sugar Daddy know I wanted our relationship to be purely platonic. My Sugar Daddy could hug me and hold my hand every once in awhile, but I didn’t want kissing or sex. He was ok with that. There were certain topics my Sugar Daddy and I would talk about which I made sure to keep in confidence.
If something had no bearing on our relationship, my boyfriend didn’t need to know. He didn’t ask in-depth questions about my Daddy, and my Daddy was respectful of my (lack of) physical needs. Boundaries can be something as little as nicknames. My Sugar Daddy would call me “baby girl” and my boyfriend would call me “honey bun”. Each was special to me and the other wasn’t allowed to use it.
This one was tough. There were times when my Sugar Daddy wanted to do a weekend getaway to a different state while my boyfriend wanted to get together with our mutual friends on the same weekend. I did my best to split time up equally with each person, but sometimes I wanted to do one thing more than the other.
So for the most part, I did and it luckily worked out. If I wanted to go to NY for the weekend, I did. And if I wanted to stay home for some literal “Netflix and Chill”, I did. I let them both know I appreciated coupley romantic time with my boyfriend and adventurous new experiences with my Sugar Daddy. If someone monopolized my time one week, I made an effort to make up for it in the next.
There might come a day when, for whatever reason, you have to choose between your boyfriend and your Sugar Daddy. On a daily basis, you’re choosing who you want to spend free time with. However at some point, like it did with me, you’ll have to choose to live without one. Kudos to whoever can keep both, but for me, I had to make the difficult decision of choosing one. As much as I tried, it was hard to sustain both and still make them feel like they were getting all of me. No one wants half of a person.
Ultimately, I think the most important part is communication with all the parties involved. Be honest with everyone, and most importantly yourself. What do they want? Can you give it to them? What can you do in one relationship without compromising the other one? What do YOU want?
This is just some cursory advice on what can be a very complicated situation. My experience will not be applicable to most Sugars, but hopefully you can get something helpful from how I operated.