Ten Tips to Prepare for a Successful Marriage

By Rachael Pace

Jun 13, 2018
The best pre-marriage tip for newly engaged couples is to communicate, communicate, communicate.  Many couples run into problems after marriage when they realize their goals don’t exactly align.

Before you become legally bound to one another, you need to have a serious talk about where you see your life going. What are your goals? What expectations do you have for one another as a married couple?

There are many conversations to have any future plans to discuss before walking down the aisle with your special someone. Make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page about your expectations for the future with these 10 pre-marriage tips for newly engaged couples.

Share your Expectations

Couples should share their expectations about marriage with one another before tying the knot. This is an especially important step for couples who do not yet live together.

For example, how will you split household chores? Couples should discuss such things as who will do the grocery shopping. Who will take care of pets? Who’s job will be to do the daily cooking, laundry? How often will you be entertaining friends? Will you consult one another before making plans with friends? How often will date nights will occur and other such mundane activities.

Talking about these little things beforehand can save you and your spouse a lot of headaches in the future.

Don’t Expect a Different Relationship

Some couples assume that getting married will change the relationship. However, this is simply not the case. Couples should never go into marriage expecting a magical change in the relationship to occur. Marriage is rewarding but it takes work. If you have strong sexual chemistry with one another, this is unlikely to change just because you tied the knot. Just like you cannot expect a partner to change their personality or bad habits just because you are now living together.

Discuss Future Goals

What are your goals for the future as a married couple? Do you want to buy a house? Do you want to save for a couple years? Does one of you want to go back to school? Who will be pursuing their dream career? Are you ready to start a family or move to another country? Whatever dreams you have, you will want to discuss them with your partner so that you are both on the same page.

Learn to Problem-Solve

Couples will run into problems quickly. Especially if they don’t learn how to communicate with one.  Learn to problem-solve effectively through honest, open communication. Talk about your thoughts and feelings. Give each other your undivided attention when discussing problems. Attack the issues instead of yelling at each other.

Be Honest About Your Finances

Studies show that couples who bring past debts into a relationship are more likely to experience low marital satisfaction.

A survey regarding finances and marriage found that while men are more likely to withhold information about work and finances, the survey highlights that one in ten couples admit that they have withheld information regarding debt, finances, spending habits, and their salary. This is unhealthy marital behavior. That can lead to even more dishonesty, anxiety, further debt, and unnecessary stress in the marriage. One of the best pre-marriage tips you can follow is, to be honest about your finances. Discuss any debts, savings, spending habits, earnings, bank accounts, financial holdings, and income openly and honestly with one another before getting hitched.

Discuss Sexual Preferences

Couples need to have an in-depth, honest conversation about their sexual expectations before getting married. Sex is a large part of a marriage. It connects you as a couple, builds trust, and relieves stress. Sex is also important to talk about. Not only about your expectations for sexual frequency. It is also important to discuss a plan of action.

Create an Emotional Intimacy Plan

Couples who have a deep emotional connection to one another experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction and an improved sex life. Create a plan for emotional intimacy. Make a plan for a date night each week.  Talk, play, laugh, take things to the bedroom. Connect as friends and lovers on a regular basis.

Believe in Your Vows

One of the greatest pre-marriage tips you can ever follow is to go through your vows together before marriage and every year after. Remind yourselves what you promised to one another. Your vows were a promise of effort, love, faith, and devotion. By believing in the vows you exchanged you will show your partner you value them above all else.

Talk about Family Planning

Having one partner who wants to start a family and the other who has no interest in having children can be a heavy burden on a marriage. It can cause stress, heartbreak, and turmoil for both parties involved. Younger couples may hope that their partner may have a change of heart as they mature and grow as a couple. While this may be true, if one spouse cannot accept that starting a family may never happen they should not marry. One cannot count on their partner changing their mind.

Birth-control is another aspect of family planning that should be discussed. This is so for any serious relationship. What precautions will you take to avoid pregnancy? Who will be in charge of using birth-control? Will both get tested for STIs and unwanted diseases before marriage as a health precaution? These are all important conversations to have before marriage.

Pre-Marriage Tips on Forgiveness

Nobody is perfect. Your marriage will be a journey of excitement, love, bliss, and forgiveness. Practice forgiveness before marriage. Make a good habit of overlooking the small things like annoying habits and personal ticks.

You cannot expect perfection from anyone. Love, respect, honor, and forgive one another regularly to experience the happiest marriage possible.
By sharing your expectations, discussing future goals and family planning, and learning to problem-solve before getting married you will set yourself up for a happy, healthy relationship for the years to come.