Things to Consider When Things Get Serious

By ShayRaii

Jun 21, 2018

You both finally decide that you have found the perfect arrangement. When this happened to me, I just knew! This was only after a few dates. For Sugar Daddies I imagine this might happen quite often, others still like to have options.

The feeling is indescribable to have found a mutually beneficial arrangement. A jackpot and a supportive Daddy. What’s more is you don’t want to share him. And he feels the same about you. The feeling is incredible. To go from actually being his friend and not just his Sugar Baby. This doesn’t necessarily have to mean that your relationship changes.  Instead, it just becomes more solid.

For pretty young women with the world as their oyster options are AMAZING! But when an arrangement develops into a relationship there are a few things that you may want to be mindful of.

Know your deal breakers and when to compromise

For me, my deal breakers were marriage and kids. We had this conversation pretty early on and he said that he’d never been into marriage. He had two kids but wouldn’t say no to having more. Three years down the line, I was moved in for at least a year when we had the conversation seriously. He was very honest with me and told me that he didn’t want any more kids. In addition, he did not EVER want to get married. We stayed together 6 months after that.  Our relationship was still perfect in my eyes. However, I just wanted more and I didn’t want to compromise. So we both say goodbye and are still friends.

Please be mindful that you and your Daddy maybe wanting different things in the future. Not that it should be a problem in your relationship if things are going great, but be mindful, you both could be at completely different stages in your life in years to come.

Get your official story straight

When you start meeting friends and family one of the top questions people are dying to ask you is “how did you meet”.  I don’t think they take notice of your name. Nor will they care about what you say you do for a living. They want to know how such a young lady became involved with an older and successful man.  I guess what they’re trying to work out is ‘did you know how wealthy he was when you first met’.

Firstly, it’s none of anyone’s business.  You can’t exactly outright say that though. You may not want to tell people where you actually met. Have a little fun. Devise a little story and keep it as your ‘first secret.’ My ex and I agreed that we would tell people that we met on a website that was for ‘beautiful people’.  His family and friends were just as shocked, but all agreed that it’s very hard to meet people when you’re out.

The Age Conversation

Has he told people your REAL AGE? Does he have kids who are close in your age and would rather tell people you were a little older? Maybe you haven’t told your family how old he really is either.

My ‘stepdaughter’ was two years older than me.  She thought that we were the same age until one night my conscience got the better of me and I confessed.

I was met with “Uhhhhggg I thought that you were going to say you were 18”! We both laughed together. I was very lucky, his daughter was two years older than me. His son was three years younger than me and I was 24. They both don’t have a traditional relationship with their dad as they are all like friends. They accepted that our relationship wasn’t a traditional one and that we could also be friends…

I must say, I felt rotten lying to everyone about my age at first. His reasons for wanting to tell people that I was 3 years older than I actually was because “his friends children who he has grown up with are the same age as me.” I tried not to get too upset about him saying this.  I had to understand that he wasn’t likening me to being a child or saying that he was ashamed of how young I was. But I have learned that when you’re in these kinds of relationships, you cannot expect everyone to be so accommodating or as understanding as you both in the relationship. They don’t understand the qualities that you both have that keep you together. Most will assume money. Money could be a big factor. However it is never the binding glue to a healthy and lasting relationship.

Which brings me to the next subject. If you are nervous about revealing your daddy’s age to your family. My ex-was 51 when we split up. He was one year younger than my mother and 17 years younger than my stepdad. Now I must admit, I wasn’t entirely honest about how old he was when I was first talking about him. I knew that if it was going to work then I wanted everyone to openly know how old my boo was. I slowly increased the age each time and just came out with it one day. Thankfully my parents were supportive as they knew I was mature and could handle my own. They probably felt sorry for him.

Please don’t feel pressured to tell anyone how old your man actually is. It is in fact no one’s business! You may want to discuss with him ‘what you tell people’. Mutual discussions with your boo about this will help calm your nerves . If you know that you have his support when you tell your family his age, then all the better for you!

Mixing Friends and Family

This will probably not be a problem for everybody! But I know from experience that it has had the potential to in the past.

Maybe your Sugar Daddy’s experience with a Sugar Baby has been a difficult one and now his friends judge you. Let them! It is down to you to show them that you’re nothing like the last. EVERY GIRL IS DIFFERENT. The saying “Kill them with kindness”comes to mind but hopefully your boo should be there to reassure them too.

Trying not to take anything personal is a good pointer . The ignorance of others is not worth getting upset over.  When my ex and I used to go out with his friends and the wives and girlfriends. The men sat together and the females all sat together – SEPARATELY. This gave everyone a chance to grill me and ask me questions.  One piece of advice is to smile through it all and answer only what you WANT to and with absolute grace. Many women will have a complex as they look at you as a disease that may spread to their husband’s probably now wanting younger female company.

When it now comes to family, I would like to think that they will have yours and ONLY your best interest at heart.

My step father expressed his thoughts to my ex which didn’t really go down well. This involves having to kindly step in. I let my step dad know that this isn’t a 20 year old that he can scare.  This is a grown man, with grown man life experience AND his own kids, have a little respect pops.

Suss out the family members that you know will cause drama. Try to have a conversation with them first. There will be no harm in forewarning your partner about these people as long as he does the same with you and your family.

Have Fun

Don’t forget to have fun. This is a new relationship. This is not a dead end marriage with a ton of responsibilities. You have the rest of your lives to become boring. Keep things fresh, communicate and yeah, just enjoy each other. And do not worry about what anyone else thinks about your relationship! I lost many friends because they couldn’t get to grips with the fact that I wasn’t only just dating this man.  We were sharing a life together and genuinely happy.