Being a Demisexual Sugar Baby

By Ava Kinsey

Sep 06, 2016

These days, we don’t have to fit into the sexual preference binary of “gay” or “straight.” There is a lot of in between, including a demisexual. Let’s first begin with what exactly being a demisexual Sugar Baby means:

“A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It’s more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being halfway between sexual and asexual.” (Via asexuality.org)

Whether you’ve attained Angel Baby status (a super successful Sugar Baby) or are still testing the waters, by now you’ve come to the realization that for many arrangements intimacy is desired to develop at some point. So how does being demisexual fit in with the Sugar lifestyle?

Platonic Arrangements

It’s no secret that platonic arrangements are a bit harder to find, but for me they are the only arrangement I’ll agree to. Why? Because if I feel that there is any hint of expected intimacy I will begin to resent my partner, and Daddies are not excluded from this.

When seeking a platonic arrangement it is important that you are upfront and honest. My profile states explicitly that I am demisexual and only seeking a platonic arrangement. This has helped to match me with POT’s that are understanding and respectful of this as well as are comfortable with (or prefer) a platonic arrangement.

What Value Exists in a Platonic Arrangement?

The world’s view is often that in an arrangement is sex traded for money or gifts. While both can be part of an arrangement they are not reliant of one another. My value as a woman is not defined by my ability to sexually please another. A man’s value is not defined by his ability to cater to me financially.

Platonic babies often bring value to the arrangement by being Daddy’s confidant, being his greatest encourager when needed. We become a safe place when the stress gets too much and the ray of sunshine he’s anxious to see again. We become your partner in adventure and laughter and a constant in an ever changing world. We remind Daddy that he is genuinely adored and appreciated. Our adoration brings far more value than our carnal experiences.

Demisexual Doesn’t Exclude Sex

As a demisexual I am capable of becoming sexually interested in my Daddy. This happens after we’ve built an emotional bond of some sort (a potentially harmful boundary if expectations aren’t properly managed) and he has earned the entirety of my trust and adoration. Personally, I don’t act on this sexual interest because I prefer to keep the boundaries of my arrangements black and white. We started as platonic and that’s how we are going to remain.

Does every demisexual baby feel this way? Absolutely not. For some demisexual babies intimacy is something they eventually desire in an arrangement, they just need to take it slow and build the emotional connection and trust first.

Pursuing a Demisexual Baby

If you find yourself wishing to enter into an arrangement with a POT baby that happens to be demisexual here is my advice: Understand that no means no. This is a hard rule in any arrangement but it is very important to understand that by pushing boundaries with a demisexual baby you can cause feelings of resentment that will ruin the arrangement.

Take your time with her. Wines and steaks are both better when given time, the Sugar will always be sweeter with your Baby when she feels you’ve been understanding and have respected her need for time. Be honest with her. If intimacy is something that you do desire in an arrangement at some point, it is best that you tell her right away.

Allow yourself room for surprises. She’s not a broken or frail thing with trust issues. She’s a woman that knows herself and knows her sexuality. She’s likely to dazzle you with her confidence and charm you with her ability to complete your life in other ways.

Most importantly, if she does choose to become intimate with you it’s important that you understand she’s allowing you into a space that not many get the chance to enter. An emotional bond of some sort has been created and if that’s not something you have the desire for you need to reevaluate the arrangement and if it is the right arrangement for you.
No two arrangements are alike and there is the perfect arrangement waiting for each of us. Never be afraid to communicate what it is you do and do not desire in an arrangement and never be afraid to have strong boundaries. Know who you are and what you bring as a partner and I guarantee you’ll have more fulfilling arrangements. After all, isn’t fulfillment what we’re really seeking?