Overcoming a Sexual Dysfunction

By Colby

Nov 21, 2017

Sugar babes, you may have come across men in your searches on SeekingArrangment.com who experience some sort of sexual problem and if you haven’t, it’s likely that you will. Here are some suggestions for handling and overcoming sexual dysfunction.

What qualifies as a sexual dysfunction?

A sexual dysfunction is any issue that hinders one’s ability to engage in their desired sexual intercourse or sexual acts. The truth is, anyone can experience sexual dysfunction, not just men, but for this conversation we will focus on the sugar daddies. Some common dysfunctions that you might encounter on SA are erectile dysfunction (trouble getting it up, or keeping it up, or that not-quite-hard feeling), pre-mature ejaculation (finishing up a bit too early), and sexual desire/arousal disorder (low or no desire to have sex).

What attracts men with sexual dysfunction to the sugar lifestyle?

First, I will say there are many things that attract people to this type of dating, and it may not be solely because of their dysfunction. Being able to provide for his sugar baby in many ways may give him a sense of security and lower his anxiety around sex and intimacy. An arrangement can allow men a sort of safety net to explore and work around whatever issue they may have. If they are married, they may be experiencing enough pressure in life or at work and so adding the pressure to “perform” at home on top of everything else can be too much. Similarly, single potential sugar daddies may find your average dating scene very intimidating or disappointing when the time comes to hop into bed and they let their new lady down.

So how should sugar babies handle this?

When your guy is having trouble getting hard or staying hard, don’t bring any extra attention to it. It’s important for us to remember a few things:
• It’s never your “fault”
• His erection is his responsibility
• There are many ways to have sex without an erection
• Blame, embarrassment, shame and excuses typically do not help the situation

What NOT to say:
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Don’t you think I’m attractive?”
“I thought you wanted to have sex with me.”

What you CAN say:
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed, let’s try this instead.”
“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?”
“Let’s take a break and try again later.”

If your guy has premature ejaculation, which is usually finishing in under a minute of intercourse, there are many ways to tailor your sex around this. For starters, talk to one another before having sex about what you like, love, and are REALLY turned on by. Be sure to share what you like with him so that he knows how to pleasure you. Even if he finishes early, before you do, it doesn’t mean that sex has to be over.

If your guy has low desire or does not initiate or crave sex as much as you are used to, there could be many reasons. Low desire for sex can be stress-related or situational and not necessarily a sexual dysfunction. Regardless, it can happen to anyone and that’s okay. We often hear about men wanting sex 100% of the time and women turning them down because they’re tired, have a headache, etc. But in fact there is no evidence that men want sex more than women, generally. Men however are more used to initiating sex more and therefore being turned down more, but often when women are told no when initiating sex, it feels like a huge rejection and something must be wrong with the guy. This is not true or fair, but we cannot let society dictate our sexual desire. So talk with your sugar daddy about how often he desires sex and if he likes to initiate or would prefer you to.

Take-Away’s

1. Sex should be playful, mutual, and changeable.
2. The main goal is pleasure, so remember that orgasm and pleasure are not always synonymous.
3. Talking about sex is SEXY!

Remember the key points regarding sexual dysfunction, chat with other sugar babies on the LetsTalkSugar blog about your experiences if you need reassurance, and make that connection with your SD the best it can be!