Preparing for the First Meet

By Malia

Sep 01, 2016

What would you do if the first date with a POT turned horribly sour? What would you do if your SD started pushing your boundaries? While it’s best to enter a situation with a positive attitude, preparing for the first meet doesn’t hurt.


Know what your boundaries are and stick to them. You must feel 100 percent comfortable and safe at all times. Are you the handshake or the hug type? Are kisses ok? These are all things you need to think about beforehand. You need to know if you comfortable holding hands in public, or if you’d rather be as discreet as possible. If your arrangement is more casual, PDA is probably the last thing on your mind. If you and your SD have more of a romantic arrangement, it probably feels more natural to show affection. But make sure to have the conversation regarding PDA ahead of time. Take the lead and ask, ‘Do you mind if I hold your hand in public?’

Let’s Talk Sex

If you are only comfortable with a platonic arrangement, it’s important to state your boundaries up front. Many SBs know well in-advance if they are open to intimacy or strictly platonic. For Babies open to being intimate, you should treat the arrangement like a traditional relationship and factor in chemistry and physical attraction. You are never obligated to have sex with anyone, no matter how big his bank account is. If you aren’t totally comfortable, don’t do it.

You need to take your own emotional well-being into consideration, as well. Are you comfortable with being intimate with an SD who prefers the detached NSA situation? Do you require exclusivity? All things to think about beforehand.

Let’s Talk Comfort

In addition to physical boundaries, emotional boundaries are as equally important. Some people are more open and comfortable divulging personal information, while others are contrastingly private.

Throughout the forums, you can see there are several cases where an SB steps outside her comfort zone and expects a reward from the POT/SD later, but that usually does not materialize. Such cases can damage a woman’s sense of self-worth and leave her feeling used or unwanted. If you don’t feel comfortable, stand your ground.

Let’s Talk Alerts

Who are your go-to’s for safety? Is it your friend, family member, classmate? Someone needs to know about your dates or trips ahead of time so that you can check in and assure you’re safe. Helpful information you can share with your confidant include a screenshot of his SA profile, photo, name, e-mail, or phone number.

Let your friend know about the venue, time and your transportation plans (never accept a ride from a POT or SD before getting to know them. You should always have your own means of transportation in the event things go south). Send a picture of yourself with the clothes you are wearing for the date to your alert friend. There are also plenty of tracking apps you and your friends can download:

Let’s hear it ladies, any other tips for first time meet and greets?