When one thinks of the term Sugar Baby, one doesn’t automatically think of a woman over the age of 30 who has children. Let’s clear up two (there are plenty more, I know) misconceptions about being a Sugar Baby: (1) you do not have to be a 20-something college student and (2) you can Sugar and have children.
A woman can be a Sugar Baby regardless of her life circumstances. Sugaring while parenting is no different, it only presents another set of variables that need to be considered in your Sugar dating and Sugaring arrangements.
Keeping Your Family Life Private
Much like your POT may request discretion in an arrangement, so can you. It may or may not be of consequence to your POT to know that you have children, but it may be of consequence to your children to know of your Sugaring lifestyle. As a single mother myself, I’ve found that keeping my Sugaring completely separate from my family life is imperative.
I do not introduce my SD to my family – ever – regardless of the length of our relationship. I have always been upfront with my POTS and told them I have a family. I have made a steadfast rule that they will never meet. I may fall on the overly-cautious end of the spectrum, but keeping these two aspects of my life separate gives me peace of mind.
What to do with the gifts?
My child is old enough to know that mommy has a solid career and earns a living. There is no question that when I drive my car, or wear my high end clothes, etc. that I could be the one buying them for myself – albeit at Off Saks or Nordstrom Rack – but the point remains that mom has a solid, successful career.
I do make a point to live realistically within my perceived income level. For example, I don’t have my SD lease me a new Mercedes – although I would love this – but it would be a red flag to those who know me and my family. Also, I make it known to any new POT that I am not available to travel for extended periods of time.
Now, if my SD would like to be extra generous with me, I let him know what works for my lifestyle. Maybe he can help with my kids’ clothing budget, or after school sports costs, etc. I’ve managed to find a myriad of ways my SD can enrich my life outside of the typical mani/pedis and shopping sprees.
Discretion is vital and maintaining a semblance of reality it integral to my Sugaring while I have children under my roof. This is not to say that I have a meager arrangement, because quite honestly, I have a very generous SD. However, ours is not a typical new handbag-Louboutins-New York for dinner-flashy arrangement.
What Do You Tell Your Children?
In my situation, I have chosen to simply explain to my family that I am dating. I have also chosen to not reveal in any way I have a Sugar Daddy. This is what I am comfortable with, it has been like that since the beginning (quite a while) and I can’t see that changing.
Now, this may not be the case for you. I’d say, if you are Sugaring monogamously and your children are older-or if you have a candid dialogue with them regarding Sugaring and relationships – then maybe explaining your dating arrangements to your children may not be a bad idea.
Each family is different,so the way the subject is approached should be tailored towards your family. Every mother approaches this in the way that works best for her situation. Think about what your children are most comfortable with and able to understand, then go from there.
I have chosen to keep the perception of my dating lifestyle pretty simple to the outside world. For me, this simplistic approach lets me focus on maintaining my career and enjoying my family. When I have time with my SD, I can focus on him, all the while knowing and relaxing on the fact that I don’t have an elaborate cover story to keep up with.
Mentally Juggling the Two Separate Worlds
When I entered the Sugar Bowl, I did so not so much for financial reasons, but for companionship. I was looking for companionship without the fuss of traditional relationships. I wanted to be with a man who adored me, found me desirable, wanted to treat me to some of the finer things in life and enjoy being together. I was not looking – nor will I, in the Sugar Bowl, look for a traditional relationship.
Do I miss my SD when I don’t see him as often as I’d like? Yes.
Are there some weekends I wish I could just spend the night in his arms, holed up in a suite of luxury away from reality? Yes.
Do I catch myself thinking “so and so would look great in this jacket”, etc. Yes.
Is it hard to mentally maintain the separation of the Sugaring 10% of my life apart from the other 90% of my life? No.
I care for my SD and enjoy my Sugaring lifestyle but it is not my entire world. If my Sugaring ended tomorrow, yes, I would be sad because it is pleasant part of my life. However, it is not my entire life. My family is my life, and my ability to grow as a person and continue to provide for them and enrich my career are the key points in my life. I think I have a healthy balance between my “two worlds”.
If you’re a parent and considering the Sugar lifestyle, by all means, don’t let the fact that you have children stop you. Simply consider if you’re able to blend the two in a way that is comfortable for you and then go for it. Countless single mothers have benefited and enriched their lives from Sugaring. I can attest to that!