What Is BDSM?

By BelleC

Apr 22, 2017

Have you ever been asked by a Sugar Daddy if you are “submissive?”  Perhaps you’ve experienced firsthand a conversation in which your POT casually mentions play that includes bondage, blindfolds or light spanking.  Here are some things to consider that go a little beyond the cinematic 50 Shades.


WHAT’S a Dominant/Submissive dynamic?

D/s refers to a Dominant/submissive connection.  Many successful men like to assume a dominant role in a relationship.  But there are Sugar Daddies who prefer to take their dominance a step further.  Just like Christian Grey in 50 Shades, they exercise control in all aspects of their lives, including intimacy.  This type of Sugar Daddy will often refer to himself as a “Dom.”


What a Dom seeks most of all is a woman who will submit herself to his every desire.  A Dom’s desires can be as simple as asking his Sugar Baby to wear a certain cocktail dress of his choosing and perhaps ordering her dinner for her.  On the heavier end, a Dom may desire to use restraints in the bedroom and incorporate forms of ‘punishment’ (known as BDSM) into the relationship.


What Are All These Acronyms?

“BDSM” stands for Bondage – Discipline – Sadism – Masochism.  Wait… Don’t run away!  Like everything else that goes into the D/s dynamic, there are varying degrees of what a Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby might enjoy.  Many women relish the idea of being “taken” by a strong and dominant lover.  Adding a little discipline to the mix can make for a very exhilarating experience for both partners.


What Happens In The Bedroom?

Many Sugar Couples enjoy bedroom play that includes light BDSM.  On the gentler end of the scale, these activities can include some spanking, blindfolding and restraints… think of the ever-handy necktie!


With the consent of both partners, personal likes and limits can be pushed to include paddle or crop spanking, clamp devices, collars or hot wax drips.  The more extreme end of the scale can include the use of ball gags, ropes, sensory deprivation, belting and even whipping.  

The range of enjoyment depends on an individual’s preferences and their willingness to explore their physical and emotional limits.  This is where communication before playing in BDSM is crucial for both partners.  A Sugar Baby’s submission of herself is a gift to her Sugar Daddy.  A genuine Daddy Dom knows and respects this.


Kink Practices 101

Always be honest about the activities in which you are comfortable and willing to participate.  It’s essential to communicate in advance with your Sugar Daddy (before the clothes come off) about any type of play that is a hard limit or a definite “No.”    

What should always be foremost on a Dominant Daddy’s agenda is the phrase, “Safe, Sane and Consensual.”  

Safe =  BDSM play is always be practiced in a safe manner and is never the cause of permanent injury or harm to either partner, physically or emotionally.  

Sane =  A submissive places tremendous trust in a Dom with the expectation that limits will be respected. The submissive is to be protected, and the Dom is to remain reserved and in check.  

Consensual =  BDSM play is never  forced and is always be consensual.  If a safe word is used or a partner asks the other to stop, the activity stops immediately.


So What’s In It For Me?

Submission can be an exhilarating escape from the daily demands and stresses of everyday life.  At the same time, a D/s connection can become very intimate as both partners share a secret part of themselves with each other that is not visible to the outside world.


Sugar Babies should remember that being submissive is a CHOICE… always.  If you choose to submit to your Sugar Daddy’s demands or play preferences, remember that you are giving him a gift of yourself that must he must genuinely earn through his care and respect for you.