Having come from a modest upbringing, I know how intimidating it can be for a woman of limited means to navigate the world of Sugar dating. When I first entered the Sugar Bowl, I constantly felt worried about whether my appearance was sophisticated enough. However, I soon discovered that the art of conversation can be just as challenging as that of appearances. Subsequently, I learned that Sugar Daddies were more likely to turn down a prospective arrangement over my conduct than they were over the fact that I showed up for a date in jeans and a t-shirt. There is an art to communicating your needs with poise and charm – read on for the tips that I found most helpful.
Chances are, you prefer a cash allowance to put toward practical expenses. Perhaps you’re looking for a Sugar Daddy who’s willing to contribute towards your tuition. Maybe you’re an aspiring entrepreneur who needs help with the start-up costs for a small business. State clearly the desired type of allowance and your goals in your SeekingArrangement profile.
A potential Sugar Daddy who wants to be generous in other ways may still contact you. He might suggest supporting your lifestyle through shopping trips or vacations, despite your profile stating that you prefer cash. One way I have responded to this in the past is by letting him know that I would consider being pampered in other ways in the future once my needs have changed. But, for now, it is in my best interest to find a benefactor who could provide an allowance. The right Sugar Daddy may be willing to compromise by starting the arrangement in the way that helps you best.
Keep it Calm
If you’re anything like me, you may have a tendency to go on the defensive the moment you feel like you’re being judged over anything money-related. Sometimes, a question or comment posed by a POT may come off as condescending or insulting. For example, a man once said to me on a first date, “why don’t your parents pay your rent? Are you on bad terms with them or something?”. At first, I felt hurt. I maintained my composure and explained my situation: my family wasn’t unwilling to help me, they were simply unable. He had never dealt with such a circumstance, so he wasn’t intentionally being rude.
Avoid a knee-jerk reaction at all costs. Remember that you’re conversing with someone who knows little to nothing about your circumstances or your past. Keep in mind that he may be skeptical due to hearing tales of struggle from other women, which proved to be untrue. Take his commentary as a sign that he lacks an understanding of your situation. Even if he chooses to be judgmental, be above it by remaining civilized and calm.
Avoid Sob Stories
A sob story will only make you sound desperate. This may garner sympathy, but it can also backfire on you. Coming off as desperate may cause a POT to feel as if you will take just any arrangement that comes your way which will call your authenticity into question. It’s also a turn-off because it may make him feel like you’re only after his money and not interested in him as a person.
Share what you are comfortable with disclosing, but try to maintain a positive attitude. Let him know that, although the deck may be stacked against you economically, you don’t feel doomed by your circumstances. Talk about your goals and what you’re doing to achieve upward mobility beyond seeking a Sugar Daddy.
Emphasize Your Strengths
Perhaps you’ve got a comedic gift or you’re well-versed in politics. Whatever it is that makes you unique and desirable, work it! At the end of the day, a lot of Sugar Daddies would rather have an arrangement with someone who is real and unique than with someone that looks “perfect” but is dull. Show them what you’re passionate about and get them excited about investing in your future. Compensate for whatever you think you may lack – whether it’s an expensive outfit, a thorough knowledge of fine dining etiquette, or an expertise in good wine – by showing him what you bring to the table.