If You’re Scared to Send the First Message Follow these Tips

By Julia Jones

Jun 06, 2019

If you’re looking for a sugar daddy, I’ve got some bad news for you, you’re going to have to put in a little bit of work to find the right one and that is going to start with sending the first message sometimes. And the key to a good first message is to be confident that it will get his interest, interest him in you, and doesn’t turn into a novel that he needs to read- after all, why actually puts forth the effort to read a 1,000-word first message? I don’t.

The basics are okay

Don’t forget that the simple: “Hi, how are you doing?” is a classic for a reason, ladies.

It’s a great way to open up a conversation and allow a POT to respond with something that you two can talk about (like his work) or allow you to continue the conversation with something about you (like your work) and if not, it can easily be followed up by a remark on something you saw on their profile or, if they didn’t have much on their profile, you can ask them to tell you more about themselves, which should be a great way to keep the conversation going so you two can get to know each other even more!

Compliment them or tell them what interested you in them

I mean, there must be a reason you want to send them a message, right? One guy I dated was pretty attractive in all his photos, but the truth is there wasn’t anything looks wise that made him stand out to me; it was his profile that made me swipe right because it showed how funny he was.

I later admitted that, even though I thought he was cute AF, it was his profile that interested me. By bringing up something on his profile, you also give your POT the chance to continue the conversation about something they are (probably) passionate about.

Be freakin cheesy!

It works. Jokes, puns, cheese. We all love it and the best part is that it can be so easy to copy and paste the perfect line and it doesn’t matter if it’s bad (just not offensive) because we all expect it from cheesy pickup lines.

While most people associate cheesy pickup lines with something a guy will go for to try and pick up a girl in a bar but that doesn’t mean girls can’t do it as well! It’s all about humor, and when our girls do use it, we turn the tables on them. They might have used that line before but they’ve never had it used on them, so it will be a whole new experience for them!

Did you notice, it’s all very simple?

Because the truth is, a first message should be simple and easy, and effortless. It shouldn’t be something you have to stress over and if it is, you’re doing it wrong.

Send a message that allows you two to get to know each other with no pressure. Sure, you can play 100 questions, but you don’t want your POT to feel like he’s being interviewed, do you? So wait, let the questions come up naturally, or if you can ask a question naturally in the first message, go for it and see where it takes you!

We all get so caught up in the idea that the first message has to be amazing, that it has to be special, that it has to be something that will rock your world, but the truth is it’s not. The 3-5 messages after the first message are what matter, so make those count instead.