Handling First Date Anxiety

By Malia

May 18, 2016

Do you find yourself worrying about things that could go wrong on a first date with a POT? Do you engage in a multitude of ‘what if’ scenarios? Similar to nerves before a job interview or speaking in front of a large audience, meeting a stranger can trigger anxiety. There are two simple tricks to calming these nerves: do your homework, and keep your mind busy in the meantime.


Part of doing your homework consists of gathering as much information on your POT as possible. Review his SeekingArrangement bio so that it’s fresh on your mind. Re-read all your exchanged messages, e-mail and texts (you may have been exchanging emails with other POTS, so don’t get your conversations confused!).

Do some research on his interests and come up with a couple of specific questions related to those areas. There are clues in his pictures: is he holding a prized fish, on a golf course, yachting, driving an exotic car, or at a sporting event? Note: These topics should not be related to the arrangement, sex, finance, religion, politics or weather.

Keep Your Mind Occupied

On the day of your first meeting, it’s best to do something physical that will engage both your mind and body. A fast-pace activity like running, biking, swimming, or volleyball will get your muscles moving and keep you focused on the present. For me, ice skating in the perfect fix for a restless mind, as I have to concentrate on what I am doing without room for additional thoughts.


After your physical activity, it’s time to relax your body and begin freshening up for the evening. Light some scented candles and take a bubble bath or a hot shower. My trick – I drink a cup of hot chamomile tea and go lie in bed for about 30 minutes. This allows me to unwind and decompress. I also set an alarm, just in case I get too relaxed!


Another element of being prepared for your date is to have your outfit preplanned. Knowing what you’re going to wear ahead of time will keep you from scrambling at the last minute or stressing out. Verbalize to your POT you are nervous. He can help you through it, chances are he’s feeling the same way.
Remember, he asked you out for a reason. Go into the date with confidence and a positive attitude. This could be the beginning of a beautiful arrangement.