Many newbies I come across share a common problem: they can’t seem to land their first Sugar date. It’s probably because they (and maybe YOU) are making crucial mistakes.
Sugar is an art, and you need to understand your place and power in securing a Sugar date. Here I’ll take you from messaging to confirming the date.
There are really only two options here: you message him, or he messages you. It’s okay to message first, I suggest a short introduction (we’re talking very short) and sharing your private photos. If he’s interested, he’ll respond. If not, move on and don’t waste your time.
When a Sugar Daddy messages first, the same type of intro message should be your response. Many Sugar Daddies request to view private photos as a first message. While lazy, this should not be seen as a reason to write him off. Look at his profile. If you are interested, reveal the photos. More on which photos you should have in this video.
After the initial messages, let him lead the conversation. Don’t ask “what he’s looking for” or state your desired allowance because that might put him off, and seems a bit clinical. Instead really look at his profile, and decide whether you want to talk to him. Also note his income: does he have the means to provide the lifestyle you want?
Take it to Texting
If he’s a Daddy who strikes your fancy, I suggest taking it to texting. This will show him your serious, and make the conversation flow a little easier. Using apps like Sideline gives you an alternate, disposable number for free if you don’t want to give out your personal number.
My best advice for texting before a first meet is to keep it casual and short. Some guys are looking for someone to endlessly chat with, but never meet up. It’s for that reason you need to be wise with your time, and help him understand your value.
He may ask to see more pictures. Hopefully you have a few on your profile, but entertain this notion and send him a few more, limit 5. If he wants more pics than that, he’s a picture collector and you shouldn’t give in. In the same respect, if he starts getting sexual right away, he just wants to text dirty with someone. Move on, and don’t waste your time.
Plan the Meet
Your main objective in texting should be to set up a first meet. Make the questions casual, but in the direction of a meeting. Things like “I’d love for us to have [dinner, drinks, lunch] sometime when you’re in town. I’m usually available [weekends, weekdays, etc].”
Any REAL Sugar Daddy will be excited that you are making it easy to meet up. If he doesn’t take the bait, you’ll know right then he’s not serious. If his availability is limited, something like “Let me know when you have time for a date and we’ll set something up” is a great way to leave things in his court without seeming presumptuous.
How to Screw This Up
I cannot stress enough that unless he brings up an allowance, you should not be talking about it yet. More on exactly how to secure an allowance here and here. If you think he’s your type, the first meet will give him a taste of being with you, establishing value. Do not have sex on a first meet, and do not expect any money.
Never ask to be “compensated for your time” since Sugar Babies are not paid, they’re gifted. This is important for legality, and for setting the tone of your arrangement. In some cases, it’s okay to request an Uber or ask him to pay for travel, but that is all you can reasonably anticipate.
Flakes and Liars
No matter where you meet someone, there are always going to be flakes and liars. Most guys are jerks, it’s just science. Do not expect men in the Sugar Bowl to be any different than men in the real world. Yes, some can be held to a higher standard, but the majority are just as lame as vanilla men. Sorry if I’m the one to break it to you, Sugar.
Flakes and liars are out there. Men will flake on you. You will flake on them. Just remember that the Sugar Bowl takes time, patience, and perseverance. Stay positive, and positive things will come your way.