Sending the First Message

By SouthernSD

Feb 05, 2016

There is a question that is more prevalent on sugar forums, blogs and social media than any other, should the sugar baby send the first message to a potential Sugar Daddy? As a Sugar Daddy, I am also asked that question quite often and my answer is always a resounding “YES”.

While this goes against long standing rules of dating and courtship, those rules do not necessarily apply to Sugar sites. SeekingArrangement is not a traditional dating site therefore the rules can be tweaked, twisted and rearranged to benefit all parties. For the Sugar Baby this may come across as intimidating but the Sugar Bowl is not a place for the meek or mild mannered. There are a lot of fish in the Sugar Baby ocean, and if you want to get caught you need to stand out, and take the first step sometimes. Let me discuss a few points as to why this works with Sugar.

First, the Sugar Daddy may never find you in sea of thousands of Sugar Babies. The shear ratio of Sugar Babies to Sugar Daddies is huge! The average is eight to one, but can go as high as 12 to one., which translates into the Sugar Daddies having to suss through hundreds, if not thousands of profiles. Most Sugar Daddies are very busy so they will limit themselves to how much time they spend perusing through the profiles. Help him out a little and let him know you’re here and interested by taking that first step.

Second, most Sugar Daddies may be looking for specific attributes or locations during their search. The filter function in the search area is an excellent tool to help dwindle the number of Sugar Babies out there and allow the Sugar Daddy a chance to specify what they may desire.  For example, in my search, I use the location feature to narrow my search to cities that are in my surrounding area. While this might take my potential matches from 12,000 to 8,000, this is still obviously too many Babies to search through, so I narrow a little further.  There is a large selection of filter options and even with those, I have still missed Sugar Babies that I would have considered. A simple introductory note from a potential Sugar Baby might be enough to let me know about a good POT I could’ve missed out on.

Lastly, you may work, travel or are considering moving to another part of the country or world and sending the first message would be in your best interest. If you live in Memphis but have to travel to Boston twice a month and would like to find that special gentlemen in Boston, there would be virtually no visibility to the Sugar Daddy in Boston of your existence. You would either have to list your area as Boston or send messages to the Sugar Daddy of your liking. Help get the ball rolling and say, “hi”.

Now you’re ready to say, “hello” and take that first step to get noticed. The message does not have to be a Harlequin novel, but short, sweet and elegant wins the race. You get even more style points if you point out something from his profile. Make sure you read his profile before sending the message. If he mentions an interesting trip he’s taken, a love of travel, a hobby, music he likes, use that as an icebreaker. Include a question he should not answer with a simple yes or no. And tell him something about yourself. What this does is show that you are attentive and truly interested. But most importantly, it makes it easy for him to message you back and keep the conversation going.   

For example, “I see you like traveling to the south of France. I would love to visit that area someday and just relax at a little restaurant drinking local wine”. This will show that you are attentive and truly interested, not just a passerby. The right message and profile might be the trigger we need to visit your profile and peak our interest.

While there are gentlemen who might not be actively searching for a particular demographic they might just be intrigued enough to check out your profile from your messaging him. Just remember that arrangements are completely different from your traditional dating. Most of the rules that apply there will not serve you well here. To get more messages in your inbox and to increase your chances of finding the perfect Sugar Daddy for you, you’re going to have to be more aggressive and contact the Sugar Daddies you like first. Hopefully I’ve been able to provide some insight and a good starting point to help lead you to success. Stand out and go for your Sugar Daddy.