Although there are many different personalities in the sugar bowl that are successful, this is my personal experience. These pointers have the power to help you become a highly successful Sugar, should they resonate with you. The sections are the meek waif, the success formula, and tips for having accountability for this lifestyle.
Problems with positioning yourself as a meek, waif Sugar-personality-type
Sugaring is interesting because it requires a very special kind of woman to pull off this lifestyle.
Each Sugar decides how to treat her POTs and SDs. For example, I am sweet but always strong & positive. I carefully distance myself from the negative conversations and then FOCUS on the positives in a human being.
My advice is to use extra caution when positioning yourself as a meek, waif, personality-type of Sugar. You may attract abusive men who are looking for doormats to take advantage of.
If you are meek, shy, lovely, sweet, kind, honest, etc, you can still succeed in this lifestyle because I have some of those qualities and have succeeded.
However, this is one half of the equation.
Being a happy, positive amazing Sugar includes both your sweetness and ALSO your will power to choose your best environment. To me, my financial position and my personal safety are addressed in all of my relationships. No exceptions.
Being so nice (aka NAIVE!) that you’re willing to entertain ANY and ALL men, needs to be a red flag for you that you may be positioning yourself in this dangerous category.
Any man who is negative drags me down or is downright abusive, I immediately report and block. No need to be sweet. No need to answer.
Ask yourself if you’re being sweet yet strong? Are you being naive of a stranger’s intentions? And ask yourself if you’re allowing strangers to be mean and abusive to you.
The Success Formula
In my life, the sugar dried up or never started when my personality didn’t also include the OTHER half of sweetness. This is a fact from my life experience.
Strong boundaries, strong opinion, strong will, ability to communicate my needs effectively, willingness to walk away from ANY situation that doesn’t suit me, or is unsafe, inability to put my feelings in check, inability to see my own faults, thinking I’m always right, being narcissistic, being nasty, rude, mean spirited, backstabbing, liar, etc etc etc.
Some of these traits are NECESSARY for sugaring. It is my opinion that some of these traits just go too far.
Some of these traits also have the ability to DESTROY your Sugar lifestyle. It is up to you to choose how you will behave around your POTs and SDs. You may choose to adjust depending on your POT or SD.
The next pitfall is the Sugars who are ashamed of the lifestyle. They are ashamed to admit that they’re Sugars.
This self-imposed shame immediately puts those Sugars at a disadvantage on many levels. They will not want to post their real pictures or they will avoid pictures of their face. They will have a difficult time getting out to learn and sharpen their skills because they worry about what others may think or say about them.
The minute that you worry about someone else’s opinion of you, that’s when you know that girl will have a difficult time succeeding in this lifestyle.
If you are so fragile that other people’s opinions of you “hurt your feelings”, I would strongly recommend looking for a different lifestyle or looking for ways to grow.
Look for ways to not worry about what others think. In all honesty, why should I care what someone else thinks of me anyway? Silly really.
Sugaring is a learned skill. A skill that takes time to learn. Practicing is the most important way to sharpen your Sugaring skills. Reading blogs like this will also help you with your sugar journey.
I’ve tried to learn lessons from friends and books but honestly, I end up making the same mistakes until I lived it. Then I say, oh yeah. I read about that. ?
My life experiences have come at some very high emotional costs. I’ve dealt with abusive, manipulative and even some straight out evil men.
This lifestyle is full of barracudas and sharks swimming around looking for easy prey. Sexual predators like wolves in sheep clothing. Sweet talking their victims into bed by lying to them about how much they like them, how quickly they’re falling in love with them, how they’ve been looking for a long time but finally found them, etc BULLSh**.
Ladies, you may be wonderful. Ladies, you may be amazing. I am here to tell you that no man falls in love with a woman in a few dates, no matter who she is.
Learn this trade! Sugaring is a profession. Fakes, liars, poses and losers are everywhere. Be smart.
These men are saying ANYTHING to get freebie sex and freebie time from naive girls. Understand that men’s dicks easily develop “feelings” for strangers. (You are a stranger to that man you just met!)
However, it takes TIME for a man’s HEART and his MIND to fall in love with you!
The sooner that you understand that this lifestyle has its dangers, the sooner that you can start learning your lessons before being used by some unsavory shark and then feeling like their chewed up victim.
As I’ve aged, I’ve been thru some life lessons that have allowed me to grow enough skin to survive in this lifestyle.
For example, I currently deal with an unsavory shark because of the learning lessons I’ve been able to walk away with from our negative conversations. It is important to note that I always keep him at bay! I also do not take personal ANYTHING that he says.
If I were an inexperienced sugar, he would be hurting my feelings after every text and would be taking advantage of me at every opportunity. Trust me, 3 years later, he STILL tries!
Instead, I have been able to learn from his manipulative words, nasty behavior and am now able to see how he twists events around and tries to manipulate me with shame and guilt. This man has helped me recognize the pattern when other POTs try to use the same tactics.
My strong recommendation for any newbie Sugar is to avoid these barracuda types at all costs while you’re beginning your Sugar journey.
This lifestyle is NOT for the meek at heart. You need some thick skin to survive the sugar lessons that you’re sure to survive. These lessons are not pretty and are not for the soft-hearted. I’ve grown a nice thick, tough skin as the lessons have piled up in my life. Plenty of emotional bruising has been part of the journey as well.
You must face the fact that Sugars go through a lot of unpleasant experiences in the beginning phases of sugaring, in order to become successful sugars.
This is why this post can be so helpful to newbie sugars. You have the choice to RESEARCH before diving head first into this lifestyle.
This post is full of key elements to help you on your Sugar journey. Just remember that only with time and practice will you gain experience. The fact that you’re reading this post says that you’re determined to succeed at this lifestyle !
Finally, it is my opinion that having those lovely and sweet personality traits are important for sugar to be successful. However, if she is not equipped with the other half of the tools, like having a stern will of mind, merciless determination to stand her ground and being able to put her feelings aside, then chances are the sharks, liars, losers, posers, salt daddies and every one else will take advantage of her.
Have caution with positioning yourself as the meek personality type of sugar. I’ve listed many examples in the success formula to give you ideas on how to navigate this lifestyle. The accountability portion of this post is equally vital. If you think you do everything right and have nothing to learn from us experienced Sugars, good luck with the sharks and barracudas!